My dad passed away on Nov 5. He had a hard time these last couple years. I'm sure he's in a much better place (where ever that may be). Seems he wanted to go. I'll be a little sad for a while.

This might be my last post for a while. I'm working on a new blog. This one has been a journey from one place to another. Seems fairly appropriate to end with this. When you lose a parent, no matter how old you are, you, or at least I, realized that you are now responsible. That imaginary "cushion" is gone. yikes. Those of you that have lost a parent know what I mean. Time also has a new meaning for me.

Be on the lookout for the new blog.

Vicious

Sheesh it's been over a month...

since I last posted. Well, my excuse is, I was getting back into the work zone... It is almost mid-semester and it has flown by. The semester is going well. As you saw from my last post, I thought I was going to have all of this time to write, etc. but it hasn't turned out that way. I did get my book review drafted. I will polish and send off this week, but I haven't touched the book. I've been writing proposals for grants, stipends, etc. and preparing for Beckett (plays I'll direct this spring). I brought a stack of papers to grade this weekend, but haven't touched them. Sigh...

I feel exhausted, really. I took this weekend to sleep, but I didn't do much of that either. I did get the shed cleaned out for the Big Lebowski party on Nov 1. If I start now, maybe I'll have the backyard looking decent for the screening and party. I am going to hang a sheet and project the movie onto it outside. It's a dress up party. Come on over and have a Caucasian with us!

meanwhile back at FMU...

Yesterday the faculty helped the Freshmen move in. It was really kind of fun. And the president cooked us hot dogs (sigh). Sort of took me back to my first year when my parents brought me to Cottey. In the afternoon, I walked by this dorm room and this boy had all his stuff unpacked, his bed made and was sitting in his room by himself. I just wanted to hug him. Almost made me cry. That first week is a bitch.

And then they all turn into little bastards....

I'm teaching 3, three, III classes this semester and one of them only has 3, three, III people in it!!!! Of course, I also have an article, a book review and a book to finish this semester. Still it is less stress than "hell."

Pilgrimage West ... Chapter 5 & 6

I fell a little behind on my posts (and everything else) as I tried to work too much in at the last minute, of course. Week before last, I went to Fayetteville, Arkansas to visit my friend Pam and her folks. We had a great time. She and her dad play guitar and we all had a big jamboree one night. Her mom fed me fried okra from the garden. It was great fun! I love that part of Arkansas and they are fabulous hillbillies!
On the MO homefront, Grandpa is doing very well and should be out soon. I helped him put a deposit down on a VERY nice assisted living place in Branson and I hope they get in there soon. Dad is not so well. I think he's decided that he's going to die and that is that. It's his path to walk....sigh.... My nieces and nephews will be in college before I get to see them (well, not really but it seems like it). I'll go back again at Christmas.
On my way to an overnight stay in Gallatin, I was driving up 65 in Nashvegas, the traffic had slowed for a wreck. I was sort of silently cussing that when my phone rang and a person on the other end started yelling about how I was "weaving all over the road, I oughta pull you over..." My friend, former student, and Nashvegas undercover cop, Morgan, was right behind me from working that wreck. Isn't that synchronicity???? Weird.
So here we are back in South Cackylacky. The house is great. The flora and fauna have exploded (my elephant ears are HUGE). The cat is fat. We have some "getting ready for school" to do. Jacob and I help the Freshmen move in on Sat. then on to Sophomore year and work for me on Monday! Yikes! I can't believe it's time again.
I have a GREAT schedule this fall. Good thing as I have lots of writing to finish. So, at the end of this pilgrimage, what did I learn? - Family is family with their own paths to walk and who am I to tell them how or what to do. Friends can be saviors from the trying to fix family. Do what you want to if you have the chance because the chance might only come round once. People are generally good (that was sort of a reminder instead of a revelation). Home is where you make it (although, I still have trouble with this one).
Ready....ok, teacher mode, on....More posts about the little bastard students later! :-)

ps: I now realize that I have misspelled pilgrimage throughout this entire summer. Thank the gods and goddesses for spellcheck (on word).

Pilgrimadge West ... Chapter 4 - spiritual quest

When I was a very little girl, we used to go visit my Granny (great grandmother) in Tahlequah, OK every summer. Boy, I've got some stories about her... Anyway, all I ever saw of Tahlequah was the reservation and the poverty. I just returned yesterday from a gorgeous part of Tahlequah called Sparrowhawk Mountain sort of overlooking the Illinois River. I went to visit my friend, Roberta. She grew up on a tent show and we met at the Toby conference in Iowa that I go to every year and really connected. She's REALLY into "woowoo." I am not even close to her league, but she's the real deal. And interestingly as far as woowoo goes, she's a lawyer. She lives on that mountain near an esotaric seminary called Sancta Sophia (they have a website). It was intriguing and I was very drawn to that teaching, most especially to her teaching. I learned how to dowse, devine, whatever you want to call it--very strange and wonderful at the same time, as well as got some new woowoo cards to work with. My friend, Pam came to visit and we swam topless in the Roberta's pool...weeeeee!!!!!! I'll probably head to Arkansas next week at some point to see Pam and her folks. Roberta and I ate, drank, shot the shit, and really worked on my intuitive side. I think I may have come back a different, but clearer person. We'll see how long it lasts. One of my challenges is discipline. I get all motivated to meditate every day, etc., but it wears off.
On the way back to Forsyth, I went to visit my Grandpa, who is home now. He is doing very well and back almost to his smart alecky self (wonder where I get it???)

Pilgrimadge West ... Chapter 3

I think God, Spirit, the Mystery, whatever you want to call it lives in the turquoise waters of Alley Spring. I was on my way to the Current River when I came upon a huge line of traffic stopped in the middle of Hwy 60. I waited for about 10 minutes. I looked at a map and realized that I could go around it (the long way). It was a fortuitous detour because I saw some of the most beautiful country. The detour took me right by Alley Spring and its working mill. Just gorgeous. I'll post pictures soon. I was on my way to spend a great 4 days with my friend, Liz in Fremont, MO on her chicken and organic vegetable farm. She has built a berm and lives there with her 2 kids, 11 cats, 1 dog, gazillion chickens and rabbits, and other various wildlife. We met 4 years or so ago in the middle of the Current River. We're sort of kindred spirits. She raises moving pen chickens, very cool. It was a new moon in Cancer and we did all that "homey" stuff like cooking, canning green beans, picking blackberries, it was great fun! I met her friend, Jan, a painter and the three of us had a great time. Liz and I floated 2 sections of the Current River: Weymeyer to Van Buren, and Van Buren to Big Spring. Really beautiful. The spoonbill fish were at Weymeyer or close to it and they were gorgeous just swimming really slowly around. I swear some were as long as my boat. Since the Current is so clear, you can see everything at the bottom. I think that experience was to show me what one of my earlier life choices could have been like. I'm a little envious, I gotta say. It was very restorative and I appreciate her friendship and the time there.

Pilgrimadge West ... Chapter 2

Well, I got here on Saturday night. I stopped and ate a tuna sandwich in Van Buren and stuck my feet in the river. It was beautiful. Gas ranged from 3.99 in NC to 3.63 in Springfield, MO. The river in my hometown is almost the highest I've ever seen it and very muddy. I don't know if kayaking will be safe or not on the creeks. I plan to head to Van Buren to kayak the Current and hang with my friend, Liz, after the 4th. Maybe I'll get out on the creek before I go.

My Grandpa is much better, thank all the gods and goddesses! He is back to being ornery. He'll stay in the nursing home until the infection is gone though.

I am sitting at the pool at my Grandma's trying to work on the book I'm writing. It's too hot to sit and write.

Did I ever mention the "prodigal child" to any of you? A psychologist friend of mine told me that the prodigal child is a child that is sort of encouraged/urged/forced by the family to go away and become "something," then when they return home, they should fix everything. Interesting.... I would say that prodigal child probably pisses everyone off when s/he tries to do that even though that is what the family thought they wanted in the first place. Sigh....

My pilgrimadge west... chapter 1b

Had a great day with Sue, Claire and Pam. Who knew there was such a place as Ellendale's. Fabulous!!!

My pilgrimadge west....chapter 1a

Well, what can you say about good friends?! First, you don't really fully appreciate people until you are away from them. Thanks to all who came out for sushi, what a great time! I was SO glad to see everyone! Do those people at Koto know what business I bring them once a year?????

So here's how the universe works. After sushi, Pam, Morgan, Jerry and I went to a little club called the Family Wash. The front man for the band was a guy I used to know when I was 15 - Soup Granda of the Ozark Mountain Daredevils. He's from sw MO. Weird, huh?

And let me just say this to those that know who they are: People have to be responsible for themselves. We can't fix anyone or be responsible for any adult but ourselves... We just have to decide if we want to continue to have a relationship with people that we don't agree with....ohmmmm....the master has spoken...

The next day Ginny and I went to Vol State to view "the portrait" and the auditorium. The auditorium had been destroyed by a tornado when I was there. It is looking very good (as long as you like blue). Lots of weaknesses have been fixed. Hope the work that goes on that stage suits it. What can I say about the portrait of Hitl...Dubyah? VSCC's illustrious president has had a GIANT portrait of himself, not the president that the building is named after, mind you, but himself, hung (no pun here, maybe he's compensating for something, usually men that want to surround themselves with "big" things are...) in the great hall of the admin building to the rumored price tag of $8000. He's missing an arm and looks like a fricking dork. Further, it looks like someone tried to claw it out of its frame...oh my kingdom for a Sharpie...

I am so proud of Sue and her work! Wowee... The Frist shebang was fabulous, as well as the before and after parties... For those not in Nashville, the Frist Center for the Visual Arts is a fabulous museum and my friend, Sue Mulcahy, is featured in a counterpoint exhibit to the "Color Field" exhibit. She is one of four artists from the Southeast that work in black and white. Interestingly, one of the artists is from USC upstate. I introduced myself last night - she knows Donna Goodman (SC folk). There is nothing on the web about the b&w exhibit yet because last night was a preview, but there my be in the future. And, of course, Sue's work was my favorite!

So today I'm off to Nashvegas to spend some time with Sue and Pam... Who knows what we'll get into...well, you will if you read my next post in a few days...

My pilgrimadge west... preface

It's raining today. First time in a month (thank the goddess!). Housesitters are lined up. The cat is acting very strange. I guess he knows something is up. He will barely let me touch him. He is going to stay here with the housesitters. First time I haven't taken him with me in the summer. He gets carsick so I have to drug him, bites any vet that boards him, and throws litter around any person's house that we stay with. I give up.

I'll be starting out Tuesday morning... My grandfather (who really raised me) is ill and so I'll be heading out on the big trek west to MO. I was planning to go anyway, but my trip will be a little different now. It's complicated, but I sort of dread parts of it (more juicy stories about that later). I plan to take many side trips once I stay in MO for a while. Who knows, I may be coming to your door...

I'm bringing: the boat, my backpack, a tent, my guitar, ipod (although I think I'm going to get one of those iTouch things and I just got Jakob Dylan's new album - woweee), computer with book chapters that need to be finished (sigh), a million books to read, and my savings account to pay for gas :-).

I am looking very forward to my first stop, Gallatin/Nashvegas TN. I will be happy to see all my old friends there... Sushi at Koto's, art at the Frist, and who knows what else! Stay tuned for each new chapter...